NaNoWriMo Day 24 + 25 + 26 + 27

The days are increasingly blending together as I get deeper into the month. Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I took off from work today in advance and hoped to maybe push myself over the edge to winning. Sadly, things like cleaning for relatives coming over tomorrow and playing Hearthstone to relax when I felt I was on the verge of panic attacks got in the way of me getting much further beyond the word count for today. I'm on par at 45k which the word goal for today, but I'm really getting the the point where I just want to hit 50k so I can hide this work in my Dropbox until January and get more sleep and exercise during December. The rest of the week has passed in a similar sort of sleepy state. I've made my word count for every day, but all I've wanted has been a chance to not have to get up at 6 o'clock in the morning, sit at a desk for 8 hours then come home and sit at a desk for even more time. I've also been waking up in the night shivering and sweating, filled with thoughts of fear over my own possible failure. I'm just trying to pull myself together at the idea of actually living my dream, and much of the time when I'm actually writing feels glorious and creative. I just really need to draw on that feeling of fun during the last few days of the month.